Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Rajinikanth 101+ Jokes. Mind Yit !! | Top 10 Rajinikanth jokes

Rajinikanth, the Tollywood Superstar has become sensation of the nation.
Some 101+ Rajinikanth Special jokes. Mind Yit !!

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. …He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
52. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
53. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… …. he turns the dark off.
54. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. Rajnikanth taught Voldemort Parseltongue.
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
78. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
80. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
84. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
95. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
99. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
100. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call nature answers Rajnikanth’s call!!
101. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
102. Rajnikanth’s Ball do not grow hair because these are made of steel
103. rajnikats email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
104. Once Hanumaanji Were Caught Reading “Rajnikanth Chalisa”..
105.What Does The God Exclaim When He Is Shocked???? Oh My Rajnikanth…
106.Rajni Knows Who Let The Dog’s Out…Mind Yit….
107.Once reporters asked rajnikanth : “people make jokes of you., dont u feel bad..”
Rajnikanth replied: “who makes jokes of me. They are all telling the truth”.
108. once dborrowed money from rajnikant and refused to pay him back. that was the last time anyone saw dinosaurs … they went extinct..!
109. Rajnikanth had died 20 years ago… But DEATH hasn’t build up the courage to tell him yet.
110. Rajnikanth can finish MARIO and CONTRA without using the jump button…!
111. Rajnikanth doesnt pay attention….Attention PAYS him….!!
112. After 50 years, Robots will make a movie named “RAJNIKANTH”…..
After 80 years, even the Ghost of Rajnikanth will be a SUPERSTAR….

Top 10 Rajinikanth jokes
  1. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  2. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
  3. Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.
  4. If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
  5. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
  6. Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
  7. Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
    Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?
  8. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
  9. If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
  10. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
  11. Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"
  12. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
  13. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
  14. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
  15. When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

What color to wear?? | According to the day of week

Each morning you are in a hurry and can't decide what color to wear?? Wear according to the day of the week.
the basic colors to wear specifed for each day may be :
monday----white (paired with red, black, pink etc)
tuesday---red
wednesday---green
thursday---yellow
friday---blue, ferozi blue /cyan
saturday---black
sunday--- anything or at least something!!

Wearing clothes as per the day of the week would get you a good idea of the number of clothes you have of each color. This also helps decide what color the next new dress could be, so that you'll enough of all the colors and not too much of a few colors only.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Asli Mard ki shaan!!!


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Just kidding..The crossbar is for strength...Woman's bike has the crossbar curved and it comes in pink color. Not gender biased.
Asli Mard ki shaan!!!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Life's 1st Diwali without Papaji...

papaji by your & BABA's blessing......
thank you for all your blessing & love.We know you are always with us. Papaji,its the first Diwali without You...cant imagine...
Please always bless mumma & us....

papaji your diwali special joke....diwali nikal gai...diwala nikal gaya...
miss you papaji very much....
sairam.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Christ Chruch Schools | 140th Founders Day | 1st Nov

1st November is celebrated as the Founders day of Christ Church, Jabalpur.Well renowned in entire MP & India of course,Christ Chruch Schools have always been a synonym for academic excellence.

From the lush green campuses to the thoroughly qualified & experienced teachers- everything about the school is PERFECT! As a Christ Churchian I, like every student, feel proud to have schooled from Christ Church Girls' Senior Secondary School.
Warm wishes & best regards to our Princi,all teachers ,employees & students on the occasion of 140th Founders day.
Long live Christ Church!!